i'm here

i feel like at the moment i'm kind of invisible,

i mean i feel like i only have two or three friends,

like no one else can see me.

but why would they even notice me,

it's not like i'm outgoing, like i try, like i talk, laugh, smile.

i'm just so self concious. i know they say ''you're your own biggest critic''

but i really am.

and i always seem to make a bit of a mess with the relationships i have with people.

one of my friends is moving away soon, another one is angry at me for some unknown reason.

i've made things terribly awkward with a guy, the other one that i want i'm not allowed to have.

then there's the one person i want to be with close with again, and he just doesn't seem to give a damn.

i always say, be more confident, be more confident.

but i find it so hard.

i can't wait for another party, it's all i've been saying.

but i know that the only reason i want to go to one is so i can talk to all the guys,

all the people i'm too scared to talk to at school.

pathetic.